The Science of Goodwill
THE SCIENCE OF GOODWILL
by Dr Guy Pettitt 81, Cambria St., Nelson, New Zealand Tel +64-3-548-4400 Fax +64-3-548-1241
Why is goodwill necessary? Just look what happens when it has gone missing. Goodwill is one of those intangible, invisible things that is certainly missed if it not present, and greatly appreciated when it is.
Just think for a moment of the times when someone has shown goodwill towards you. How did you feel? How did it affect your day? What difference did it make to you? Now think for a moment of times when someone failed to show you goodwill, showed you ill-will? What happened then? Which do you prefer? Is it worth our knowing more about how to produce more goodwill in the world?
Just as there are natural laws of the physical world, so it seems there are laws of the emotional realm for us to discover and utilise. Goodwill produces benefits, ill-will produces harm. Most of us would recognise the truth of that Law. If we value goodwill enough, can we learn to increase it?
The answer is yes, if we are willing to put in some time and effort. Knowledge of sciences like chemistry and electronics gives us a chance to create useful things to improve our food, clothes, medicine, communication, and transport. Knowledge of the science of goodwill will give us the chance to improve our relationships, culture and civilisation.
GOODWILL IS MADE UP OF A NUMBER OF PARTS.
1. The first part is valuing it enough to want to learn and practise it until it becomes a secure part of our character.
2. The second part is actually being willing to practise it - using our will to overcome our tendency to fall back into being controlled by our old patterns of reactiveness and resentment. The correct use of the human free will is crucial to what follows. The goodwill is used to “set” in the mind as goals and attitudes the following intentions, for which we have no adequate English words. They come from Aramaic, the now dead language spoken by the Essenes, who were renowned for their good relationships and healing skills.
3. The third part is Kenoota. This is an Aramaic word that describes being open and willing to see what would be “fairest to all” in any situation and deliberately strive for it which means for me and you, your children and mine, all our relatives, all of humanity, and — all the people who will come after us. This seems to be quite a big concept, and itis. However, if we do not begin to set our minds to do this, then things will usually foul up, if not immediately, then later on. Kenoota is as needed for planetary survival, just as food and water are needed by us as individuals for our physical survival. The constant application of Kenoota will revolutionise our economics and politics. But the word "kenoota" is not in our vocabulary. We have words for “running”, and “talking”. But because we do not have an English word for the action of Kenoota we have not got a “space” for it in our thinking and it has not (yet) become a habit.
4. The fourth part is Khooba. This is an Aramaic word indicating “looking for and emphasising the good or good potential, in yourself, in others, and in any situation”. It is not a facile kind of optimism, however. It is not ignoring anything bad which may need to be changed. It is selectively and deliberately giving attention in speech and thought to the good, thus energising it, while completely withdrawing attention from the negative, thus causing it to wither away from lack of attention. Example: Khooba is the opposite of gossip. Instead of spreading gossip, one practising Khooba may selectively spread true and good information about a person. Instead of complaining, Khooba would bring to light the constructive things that can be done to heal imperfections lovingly and bring into the foreground the good potential in a situation.
5. The fifth part is Makikh. Makikh is the intention to look at someone’s behaviour, no matter how unpleasant, with the goal of “seeing through” that behaviour to see the true unmet basic needs that are contributing to the behaviour. It is a kind of psychological x--ray vision. It also includes the will to help that person to get their needs met in asatisfactory and harmless manner. One who is practising Makikh will not feel personally attacked by another person’s behaviour. Rather, they will realise that the behaviour, no matter how unpleasant, has been initiated and driven by unmet basic needs in the present, or more often, in childhood. If we make no effort to understand accurately the needs of others, from their point of view, we usually end up becoming intolerant of them. As we practise Makikh, on the other hand, our ability to have true humility and compassion increases, we establish good rapport even with difficult people, and seemingly impossiblesituations can usually be resolved.
6. The sixth part is Rukha. To be “At Home in Rukha” in Aramaic meant to be serene and tranquil even in difficult circumstances, and to be so filled with Inner Peace that one couldbring it and radiate it into a situation. This attitude can be cultivated through meditation and practise. Someone emanating this quality causes the effect of calming others, and brings harmony into situations where there is conflict. You probably know at least one person who can do that. Who has it been? Because of this effect, the Aramaic psychologists perceived Rukha to be a kind of subtle force or “breath”. Just as the air breathed out will quickly disperse throughout a room, so does Rukha disperse into the “space between” people, harmonising them and the "atmosphere" around them. With this calm poise, even at the centre of a storm, the mind is clearer and wiser. Taking time to still the mind before entering a difficult situation is often essential if you are not going to increase harm, but bring about a peaceful solution that will endure.
7. The seventh part is Abilii. This is rather like the English words “ability” and “capability”, and perhaps they are related. It means to joyfully look into one’s own mind to look for “errors in the mind” and remove them. It means rejoicing in quite deliberately doing our own emotional and mental housecleaning. It means deliberately healing our own faulty attitudes and negative emotions before entering a situation. It means deliberately removing our own negative beliefs swiftly. If we do not so, we are likely to “miss the mark” in our relationships and maintaining goodwill will be well nigh impossible. It can be achieved by using the Evening Review and the Self-forgiveness process.
8. The eighth part is Dadcean b’Libhoun. This meant to be able to take a larger view of a situation - and eagle’s eye view as opposed to a worm’s eye view. When we see the bigger picture in time and space and all its interconnections and ramifications, it almost always puts the problem into a wiser perspective. New possibilities for fulfilling solutions can then emerge into awareness more easily. Hostility or laziness have a way of obscuring important aspects of a situation from view. Dadcean b’Libhoun is to have no faults in the mind which do this. It is clear, holistic, intuitive vision.
9. The ninth part is using the Forgiveness Process to heal all our painful memories and conditioning so that we move into new situations with freedom and lightness, able to express unconditional love. By taking the time to heal all the memories we have of when certain people hurt or disappointed us, we end the power of these memories to control us. We became able to love unconditionally and inclusively. I have noticed that most people who have completed their forgiveness agenda do in fact begin to see their world through the lens of the Aramaic mind-sets. For example: They come to see the good in themselves and others, and to bring it into the foreground. They come to see the true needs of themselves and others more easily. They come to radiate more serenity and peace. Thus the use of the Forgiveness Process combined with the attempt to cultivate the Aramaic Mind-sets in daily life support each other synergistically.
10. The tenth part is Clear Communication. Without this, goodwill can fail. Clear Communication includes:
Firstly clear communication means listening actively to the other person, and also checking out whether we have indeed understood their verbal and non-verbal signals accurately.
Secondly, clear Communication includes letting our own needs and preferences be known in a way that others can understand. If we do not do this, we expect them to read our minds, which usually they cannot do (fortunately, if you think about that carefully!) . When they do not “know” what we want, we may blame them rather than thinking how we could communicate better.
The Science of Goodwill indicates
that the above ingredients are based upon natural laws of the psychological
realms. If all the items are fully used, then goodwill and right human
relationships happen, effortlessly. If one or more of the items are not in use,
then frustration, hurt, even violence occur.
The practise of these mind-sets can be learned at the “Goodwill Magic” weekend seminar taught by Dr Guy Pettitt. (In this case, see the accompanying booklet on this website) They are best practised with the support of a small group who meet weekly after the seminar to discuss progress in cultivating them, who meditate together on these attributes, and who support each other in the weekly practise of them.
by Dr Guy Pettitt 81, Cambria St., Nelson, New Zealand
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